20 minutes @ 2230

Tonight was good. I let my mind wander off about painting. I just watched the paint roll off the brush tonight. It was enjoyable. I pictured the paint, thick and colourful. The rest of the time I just enjoyed breathing. I feel really relaxed.

20 minutes at 2300

Been a while since I've posted here. I've been pretty good about meditating though. I think I've missed a few days in the past couple weeks, but other than that, I've been doing well.
Tonight was really really really good. =) J. says I've missed a whole week actually. I disagree. Anyway, tonight was great. I felt so so calm. After what I think was about 10 minutes of focusing on my breath and then on my body, I was totally relaxed. I started in on thinking of myself and those around me in a most positive way. I went through several people in my life, then focused on myself gaining more and more positive energy, radiating it outward to everywhere. Then I went back to my breath and body. I was there when my alarm went off. I stopped it, and came out of meditation slowly. I didn't really want to, even after 20 minutes of sitting.
Until next time. =D Happy Mother's Day!

15 minutes

I cut it short tonight. Meditation has been a chore all week. Sometimes I'm just not into it. I need a bit of inspiration. Plus, I'm tired of staying up until midnight every night. 5 hours of sleep every night catches up to you after 4-5 days in a row. I can do it, it just makes it hard to meditate. I've continued to drag myself through meditations all week though. I think it will improve soon.

20 minutes

Tonight I worked on "loving kindness" meditation. It's different than "single pointedness" meditation. You try to work on changing your attitude about people. I don't do it that often because I feel like my concentration needs more work than my attitude, but I don't know, could be the other way around. At any rate, I feel pretty good after sitting tonight. Now it's time for bed. =)

20 minutes

Lately my meditations have been pretty forced. I think last night was the hardest. Seems every night has been getting harder lately. I'm thinking last night was the apex though, because tonight was a bit easier.
I got a new zafu by the way! =) It's nice on the buttocks. Keeps me up at a good height too.
I remembered a conversation w/ my old kung fu teacher. He said, "People come here, (to Wah Lum Kung Fu) we fix them, then they leave the school and get all sorts of problems in their lives again." I remember thinking that was pretty true. Looking back, I think it was the daily meditation, the fellowship of the people practicing kung fu, and the short bits of instruction we received on morality every day. I realized tonight that those are the "three pillars" of Buddhism. The practice of meditation, the teachings of the Buddha, and the "sangha" or the Buddhist community. The community can be anyone though. Whoever helps you stay upright. I'm surprised just how much my teacher was able to teach Buddhism without calling it that. Actually, we had Bible studies on the weekends. He'd never claim to be teaching Buddhism at all.
Anyway, tonight was pretty good. I finally able to really relax like I want to tonight.

Posting

I haven't been posting like I'm posed to. ;) Though I have been meditating on a fairly regular basis, I just haven't been writing about it. My wife is rubbing her nasty feet on my mole, on the fat on the edge of my big gut.
The end.

20 minutes at midnight

Whether or not my mind is clear and calm seems to have little to do w/ how good I feel after I meditate. Even when I can't stop thinking about things, and my mind is running around on its own all the time, I still feel very nice after words.
I think I notice more subtle thoughts than I used to. My mind can be going 90 mph, but big mind is observing those thoughts objectively. I find I do not often get tangled up in my thoughts, trying to figure things out, or actually thinking about things. It's more like lucid dreaming.
I have done a pretty good job of not gossiping at work lately. I recognize it when it comes into conversation, and I actively disengage from it.